I'm back and free :)

Well, this is me looking a bit professionally shit, but so happy I can finally relax when I get home without feeling guilty that I ain't revising. I can now do my favourite thing on a night - sit in my armchair and spend hours on my laptop :)

So yeah, the main reason for the time away was due to revision, not that much got done. I was so hard to even get my eyes to read the material. I like to think the exams asked the right questions.

Still have general studies and my finance resit but they're nothing. Happy days, we're going all the way! That's a song lyric btw...

Oh! And I'm also so happy as Nadal won today, and Federer won yesterday! Wimbledon is kicking in, and yet again, I'm too busy working to watch the daytime games. I guess I won't see a full Wimbledon season until I retire. Maybe I might be rich enough by then to get some tickets :P

Ah well, as long as Andy Murray gets his arse whipped baaaaadly. He deserves to gte my foot planted in his face.

G'night!

Better Things...

now playing: Big Brother

And tbh, thank goodness it's the last one! Was getting a bit old. I swear the audience only go there to boo the participant people things...

Things are better since I was last on here. Mum is still having her moods, but I've learned to shrug them off. It's like I can't cry anymore which is weird cause all I ever used to do was cry at anything. Maybe I'm actually starting to grown up?

I have a friend who has serious mental heath issues. To the point where people have considered sectioning him. He's like a best friend to me, and spending time with him has made me realise I have no reason to complain about my life. Every night he makes himself bleed. Obviously, this kills me. All I can do is tell him to call or text me when he feels like self-harming, and I will try and talk to him about other things and take him mind off it. It probably won't work, but I can't just sit back and not do anything.

Anyway, I'm sure he will get everything he wants in life :)

Peace (and a headache).

now playing: Music Or the Misery by Fall Out Boy

JUST LEAVE ME ALONE.

Mum just seems to want to put everything about my and my boyfriend down. If she doesn't like him why doesn't she just come out and say it instead of being an arse. One minute she speaks so highly or him and then next she puts him down. But I think for once, I'm going to go with what I want instead of doing stuff to keep her happy. I just know in time she will start hinting that I need to split up with him. Unless there's a good reason, she can get lost. I'm 18, and she can leave me alone now.

Her moods have been vile recently. I know we have troubles, but there's ways of dealing with it without dragging other people down with you. I'm sick of feeling trapped by her and crying every time she goes off on one. And she like to get answers. I'm not justifying myself. She should just leave me to my own devices, otherwise things are gonna go bad like last time...

I was about 14, the worst age for a growing girl. I befriended a lot of people and became one of them, known as the "moshers" hanging around Wakefield cathedral ever Saturday afternoon without fail. We weren't bad people, we just didn't get a lot done - in this case, it was school work that was neglected. This, for a person who has to revise at least 50 hours to pass an exam, was diabolical. Me and mum had our first ever fights, she couldn't talk to me without me being awful to her - all because she wouldn't give me space. That's all I needed. It got to the point where I attempted to run away from home, until someone saw me at the top of my street.

Now, yet again, she's suffocating me. What she's forgetting is that I am a "woman" now, and I can do what I want in a sense. I don't have to do what she wants to keep her happy. I could move out if I wanted. but yet she still tries to hold me down. I'm not going to cry because of her anymore.

I know this is awful stuff to say or think, but the anger has to come out at some point right? Meant to express your feelings? Apparently I ain't allowed to do that either. Anyway, the chances of her reading this are extremely slim since she's not a computer person.

I need to get away.

now playing: If We Ever Meet Again by Timbaland (it's stuck in my head)

I'm currently blogging from my phone, so there is likely to be typos and it will look crap.

I have no work ethic. It's official. I struggle to get out of bed in the morning to the point where I've missed at least one bus everyday. I am also losing motivation at work, and due to work I have got no revision done for my exams on the 21st. Awesome. Doesn't help that Kyle is away on a military course thing so that's one less person I can nag and complain at.
I haven't picked up my guitar in well over a week - poor Billie. He now probably thinks he's done something wrong, bless him (yes I talk to my guitar like he's a real person).
I want Kyle to come home. How I'm gonna cope when he's actually serving for our country, I do not know. I suppose this is practice. I've never had a boyfriend that I've felt dearly about. It feels weird. All my friends used to go on about how they're obsessed with their boyfriends and I just remember thinking that I just couldn't be bothered with mine. I'm a horrible person!